We often put our happiness in the hands of others. This morning’s affirmation reminds us that we are in charge of our own happiness.
It is July already!!! Make sure you join the Serenity Room this month as we discuss the journey of being present and mindful. Stay tuned!
Feeling stuck is one of the most frustrating feelings in the world. You want to do more, but you cannot seem to get yourself together to do more. And if you express this to other people, everybody just tells you to just do it. Just go for it. This advice sounds so simplistic, yet it feels like the hardest thing to do because you feel stuck. And you may not even understand why you feel this way, but you do. Today I will be discussing a few ways that we become stuck and how we can reverse those feelings.
Sometimes our mindsets keep us in circumstances although we desire more for ourselves. Some of us have a mindset of resignation. This mindset follows the line of thinking that it is what it is, I have all I am going to have, and I must make do with this. With this mindset, it is very easy to get stuck because, although you may want more for yourself, you think that what you have now is all that you will ever have. When you have this mindset, the natural response is why want more if this is all I will ever have? This frame of thinking sometimes comes when we have yet to get over decisions made in past circumstances that may have put us at a disadvantage. We may feel like we don’t deserve any better and that we have made our bed so now we must lay in it.
No Real Goals
There are times where we may say we want something but we don’t outline a plan to actually get it. When this happens, we are just basically verbalizing the desire, but we do not actually give ourselves opportunity to reach the destination we have for ourselves. Having no real destination puts you in a position to where you are basically just going through life but staying in the same position. Almost like a hamster on his wheel. Time is moving on, but you are not growing into your potential. Setting goals is vital to avoiding the feeling of being stuck.
Fear paralyzes so many people. Some people have the fear of failure. For these individuals, the fear of what could go wrong and the consequences of what could happen is more powerful than the desire to try. This failure to even attempt keeps you stuck where you are in life. But then there is also the fear of success. There are some individuals who shy away from being successful because success often comes with more responsibilities and judgment. The additional responsibilities and the potential to be judged sometimes keeps some from even trying.
Imposter syndrome is when you doubt your ability to be successful or feeling like you do not belong. Those who experience imposter syndrome often feel like a fraud, as if they don’t have the necessary qualifications to even be in the company of certain people. People who are experiencing imposter syndrome experience a certain level of success. The problem arises when they do not try to go further for fear of being exposed as a fraud. They feel as if they are lucky to have gotten as far as they have and don’t want to push their luck by attempting to go further. This can leads to a feeling of being stuck because while they may have experienced some success, they are scared to go further.
In order to reach your full potential, you have to be free to do those things that will get you to your ultimate goal. In other words, you must become unstuck. Here are a few ways that this can be done.
Focus on Your Thought Patterns
This is a very important step in becoming unstuck. A lot of what has us stuck is often what we think of ourselves or our circumstances. Take a few moments to really examine your thoughts. Are they positive thoughts or are they negative thoughts? If you have negative thoughts, do they lead to negative self-talk? If you are having negative thoughts and if they are leading to negative self talk, challenge these thoughts. Try to see where they are coming from. Is it just coming from yourself doubt or are they based in long-term traumas? Really evaluate your thoughts and why you have them. You may find that you will find that you can move forward once you begin to change the way you think.
Make Small Changes
Sometimes we feel stuck because we have fallen into a rut. We have gotten into a comfort zone and we have snuggled comfortably into it. Sometimes all you need is a small change in your daily routine or habits to shake things up enough to become unstuck. If you find that you have big goals but you don’t set small goals in between, maybe that is something you can try. Setting those small goals may feel weird to you at first but that small change in habit may be enough to make you feel unstuck. Also, just trying something new that you may not have thought you might enjoy can sometimes make you unstuck. This could open you up to other things that might get you moving in the right direction.
Build Your Confidence
As stated earlier, there are a lot of things that can go into you feeling stuck in life. Becoming unstuck requires you to look at yourself in a totally different way. Instead of feeling like this is all is going to be, you must start thinking that you can indeed live your best life. This requires you to build your confidence. Building your confidence often requires you to do those things that you may have been scared to do previously or that may feel a little uncomfortable. But once you do these things and realize that you can be successful at these things, you will begin to do more things and you will begin to experience success. This will hopefully move you toward setting higher and higher goals that you will continue to reach.
Find Your Passion
Lastly, find your passion. Oftentimes we feel stuck because have not yet found that thing that we love. We may do a lot of things that we like but very little of the things that we love. Doing the things that we love is what gets you moving to your ultimate goal. Dreaming big and aspiring beyond just your day to day is what will eventually lead to you not feeling so stuck.
Have you ever had this stuck feeling? What did you do to become unstuck? Or if you are still feeling stuck, what is going to be your first step in moving toward your goals? Comment below and let us know!
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.Les Brown
I absolutely love this quote because it faces you think: am I truly living my dreams or am I living my fears? That is a legit question. Many people may say they are living their dreams. But when they think about every time, they second guessed themselves or not giving 100% of their effort into something, the answer may change. A lot of people live at least a portion of their lives in fear. Some of this fear may be legit but some of it may be fueled by things that can be controlled. The following are a few ways you can begin living your dreams.
Find the Source of Your Fear
This may take a bit of time, but it is imperative that you find the true source of your fear. Once you determine the source of your fears, you can begin to break whatever it is into small, manageable chunks so you can overcome it and truly begin to live your best life. Some of the solutions to overcoming these fears may require the assistance of a counselor or therapist. It will be worth to really take the time to really dig and find the source of your fear so that you can live your life freely.
Change Your Mindset
Sometimes we start out living our lives vicariously, but we end up living lives filled with fear due to our mindsets that may shift over time. We sometimes start out with growth mindsets where everything is going well and all breaks are seeming to go our way. When all is well it is quite easy to believe that you can learn more, work harder, and keep reaching for your goals. However, if you have a fixed mindset and you have allowed fear to creep in, then fear will become a part of your thinking and it will be difficult to move forward. To be successful, you must minimize any fear that you are experiencing and adopt a growth mindset.
If fear has crept into your life and seems to occupy most of your thoughts, you can attempt to control it through various methods. Meditation is one technique can be used to help you face your fear and make it less intimidating. Deep breathing can also be helpful when you need to move forward but you begin to feel fear creep in. This deep breathing can help calm you until the fear subsides. Journaling can also be a technique to put your thoughts on paper and work through your fears through your entries. You will be able to look back and see how you have overcome your fears in the past to motivate you to work toward overcoming them now. Also, positive thinking and reframing of negative thoughts into positive ones can help your fears not to appear to be so big that you cannot overcome them.
Do Not Give Fear Energy
Feeling fear is sometimes just a part of living. When you are trying something new or in an unfamiliar situation, fear is likely to arise. The main thing is to not lean into the fear. This can be challenging but the most beneficial thing to do is to let the fear come, acknowledge it, and then let it pass. It can sometimes be challenging, and this may take a lot of practice. Denying fear, the opportunity to completely consume you will take time and practice.
Do you feel as if you live life fearlessly? What advice would you give those who strive to live fearlessly?
Feeling unmotivated may be one of the most frustrating feelings ever. You have goals, you have things that you want to do, you even make plans. But then, when the time comes, you just cannot get yourself together. You reschedule, you push back your timelines, or you just do not do anything. All motivation is gone and all you have is a bunch of unfulfilled plans and goals. If this sounds like you, you are not alone. This post explores five ways why you may feel this way.
Lack of Self-Discipline
Any goal that you have that is going to require a change in habit is going to require discipline. If want to start eating healthier, you are going to have to be disciplined enough not to purchase the unhealthy foods that you might prefer. Self-discipline is a vital part of your motivation to achieve the goals that you have set for yourself. You may have to deny yourself of those things that make you comfortable but are not getting you any closer to your goals. Many people fall short of their goals because their lack of self-discipline keeps them from creating those new habits or learning those new skills that can get you motivated to achieve your goals.
No Clear Goals
It is very hard to get motivated to achieve a goal that is not clearly defined. It is important to clearly define the goal and how success will look. Without clear goals you may know you want something different for yourself, but you will float through each day not feeling really motivated to do anything. Real motivation can be found in clearly defined goals. Clear goals increase motivation as it will make it more likely that your actions will be intentional as you move towards success. Many times, there is a lack of motivation because, while we may desire a change, we do not clearly define where we want to end up.
Waiting for the Right Time
So many of us are guilty of this. We are not truly motivated because we are waiting for the right time. We are waiting for our kids to get older, waiting until we are totally out of debt, or for some other thing to fall perfectly into place. Motivation can be lost during this waiting period. This is because the right time never seems to arrive as other things always seems to come up and we push back out timeline more and more. Life moves fast and time seems to move even faster. The right time may never come so it is imperative to keep our motivation high by starting to work on our goals now.
Doubt can keep you from doing a lot of productive things that can move you towards your goals. Doubting that you deserve all good things that come your way and doubting that you can reach your dreams are all motivation killers. Self-doubt will keep you from doing all that you can to achieve your goals. Depending on the type of goal you are trying to reach, half-trying may be the equivalent of not trying at all. Self-doubt will keep you stagnant in life and will deplete you of all motivation. Begin that you can accomplish all things and your motivation will begin to rise.
Have you ever met someone who had a bleak outlook on everything in life? Whenever someone comes with just a little bit of good news, they come to the conversation with a bucket of water to throw on your good news. Having a negative outlook on life can limit any motivation that you may have. It is much easier to be motivated to do what you need to do to meet your goals when you believe that you can. Try to pay attention to your thought patterns and how you view certain circumstances. Begin to consciously frame any negative thoughts that you may have into more positive ones. Hopefully, this will begin to increase your motivation.
What other things would you add to this list? Comment below some strategies that you use to increase your motivation.
Mental fatigue can be caused by many things but what it refers to is the stress that you experience over an extended period. It can be caused by long term trauma, lack of sleep, financial stress, or grief, just to name a few. Those individuals battling mental fatigue may find that they feel that they are operating in a brain much of the time. Others may feel that fatigue most intensely after they have had to use a lot of mental energy. This mental fatigue can affect a lot of things including your responses to circumstances. The following are some ways that you can be affected by mental fatigue.
Being mentally exhausted can leave you with zero energy. This exhaustion can be so pronounced that you do not have any energy left for the things that you have to, much less the things you like to do. You may find that you may begin to lose interest in the things that once brought you great joy. This can lead to you becoming depressed. Depression and mental fatigue can be so closely aligned that it can sometimes too hard to tell if the depression is causing the mental fatigue or vice versa. Mental exhaustion can cause you to feel drained to the point that you lose your zest for life. You may find yourself feeling sad, lonely, or hopeless and these feelings can pull you further into a depressed state.
Have you ever noticed that when you are sleepy or tired that you become irritable and have almost no patience? The same thing applies to mental fatigue. Mental fatigue can put you in a place where irritability becomes a state of being. You may find that your level of tolerance is not where it normally is and those around you may start asking you why you are so cranky or in a bad mood. Being mentally exhausted and not being able to function normally can frustrate you and drain you to the point where you are irritable all the time.
Mental fatigue can get you to the point where you do not have the physical or mental energy to do anything. This lack of motivation to get anything done can lead to tasks and responsibilities going undone. You may soon find that procrastination will begin to take over as you keep pushing back the things that need to be done. The feeling of being overwhelmed can take over as you look at all the things that you have not done. This can lead to even more mental exhaustion as you continue to think at the mounting list of things you have not done. This can be the start of a vicious cycle.
Have you ever experienced any symptoms of mental fatigue? What symptoms did you experience? Comment below with your thoughts.
There are so many things that can affect your self-esteem. Your upbringing, any traumatic experiences, or even the people you associate yourself with can affect the way you see yourself. The funny thing about self-esteem is that you may be viewing yourself in a completely different light than how everyone else sees you. But it does not matter how wonderful everyone else thinks you are if you do not see yourself that way. Raising your self-esteem is critical because it is a lot easier to reach your goals and dreams if you believe that you can. The following are some ways to increase your self-esteem.
Think and Speak Positively
It is important to be conscious of your thoughts because negative thoughts often lead to negative words. Controlling your thoughts is a process but you can start by challenging those negative thoughts that may enter your mind. If you have a negative thought, stop, and ask yourself if it based in reality or in fears. Turn that negative thought into a positive one, even if you have to speak the positive version of the thought out loud. Your words are powerful, and it is critical to your self-image and self-esteem that you speak and think positive thoughts.
Believe in Yourself
Have you ever been in a situation where you were being encouraged by those around, but you had no real belief in yourself? A huge part of building your self-esteem is believing and having confidence in yourself. It can sometimes be hard to brag on yourself but thinking about or making a list of all your accomplishments can help build your self-confidence. The main goal is to be aware of your strengths and weakness and think of yourself in the best possible light. Genuine belief in yourself will lead to an increase in self-esteem.
Sometimes we can be so humble that we do not toot our own horn. But there is no harm in celebrating your successes. As a matter of fact, it is an important part of building your self-esteem. It builds your self-esteem when you celebrate all accomplishments, both big and small. On those days where your self-esteem may be a little low, remember your accomplishments and know that it if you did it then, you can do it now. Do not hesitate to celebrate yourself.
Give Yourself the Grace You Give Others
We often give others the breaks and kind words that we do not give ourselves. A big part of building up your self- esteem is to forgive yourself if you fall short. Do not tie shortcomings to your self-worth. When others fall short or do not meet our expectations, we often tell them not to worry about it or that it will be okay. We do not hold it against them. Give yourself the same grace and forgiveness that you give others. Your past mistakes do not affect your self-worth so be very conscious of letting it affect your self-esteem.
Face Your Fears
Not shying away and facing your fears takes a lot of strength to do. When you overcome your fears and succeed in doing those things that you wanted to accomplish, your confidence begins to rise, and you begin to feel that you can do almost anything. This feeling is what gives you the rise in your self-esteem. Once your self-esteem begins to rise, you begin to have the confidence that you can do anything. Facing your fears can go a long way in increasing your self-esteem.
What are some things that you do to raise your self-esteem when you feel like it is low?
It seems as if we are always in a rush. We are in a rush to get out of the door in the mornings. We are in a rush to get our children to school and to their extra-curricular activities. We are in a rush to get to work and then we are in a rush to get back home. And when we are not rushing from here to there, we have our faces in our cell phones either on social media or texting away. I am guilty of this and many of you probably are also.
It has only been very recently that I have come to the realization that my thoughts are often on my past or future but not often on the present moment. There is a lot of joy to be had and lessons to be learned in the present moment. Here are a few ways to stay in the moment and enjoy the journey of life.
Making Peace With Your Past
It is hard to live in the present moment when you are constantly looking behind you. Past hurts, regrets, what ifs, and bad choices can rob you of the joy of living in the moment. It is critical that you make peace with your past so that you can move forward. What does make peace with your past look like? It looks different for different people. Your past experiences, whether good or bad, helped shape you into the person you are today. You cannot always erase memories, but you can make the conscious decision to not allow past experiences to hold you hostage. Some experiences or memories may be so painful that you may need the help of a therapist to assist you in moving past them. Do whatever needs to be done to move forward so that you can enjoy the journey of life.
Know Your Destination But Enjoy the Process
As my daughter is starting to research and narrow down her college choices, the goal is to choose the college that is the best fit for her. I am having to constantly remind myself not to rush through the process. I want to enjoy every moment. If you have a goal set for yourself, try to remember to enjoy the process. We often go through the motions with are minds on the destination but there are memories to be made in the present moment when you are working towards the goal. Remember to slow down and enjoy the process as you work towards your goals.
Discover What You Can Offer Others
Everybody has a story to tell. Most people’s story can serve as a lesson to others. I have learned many lessons in my lifetime that can help people, but the lesson was always realized in hindsight. Taking your time through life will allow you to recognize the lessons, good or bad, in what you are going through. Life is a series of lessons for yourself as well as lessons that you can share with others. Sometimes the lesson is to take care of your health before you end up in the hospital. Other times, the lesson is not everyone or every issue is worthy of your time and energy. Being able to get the lesson in real time can put you in a better position to cope in the present. This could help others benefit from the lesson and avoid unneccessary hardships.
In our fast-paced society, slowing down is a challenge. There will be times when you will have to consciously tell yourself to slow down. There are moments when I wish I had slowed down and really relished the moment. And then there are times when I wish I had slowed down long enough to get the lesson in the moment instead of realizing the lesson later. I am getting better at this, but I am by no means there yet. It takes time and conscious effort but learning to enjoy the journey of life is a practice we should all strive for.
Do you feel like you are enjoying the journey of life? If so, comment below and share some things that you do to ensure that you are living in the moment.
I often hear that your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die. That may sound extreme, but I believe it to be true for the most part. I will never go as far as to say that nothing can be accomplished while you are in your comfort zone. However, I would say that you have a much better chance of achieving your goals is you operate outside of your comfort zone. The familiarity of your comfort zone may be calming and reassuring but it can also be the reason why many goals may not be achieved. The following are a few risks of remaining in your comfort zone.
Growth is limited in your comfort zone.
You are not likely to do any growing in your comfort zone. You live each day knowing what to expect and what not to expect. This brings you a sense of security but with that security comes a lack of personal growth. Personal growth consists of you learning new skills, expanding your knowledge, and seeking out new experiences. When you are nestled comfortably in your comfort zone, you are less likely to take advantages of opportunities. This leads to your potential for personal growth to be limited.
Fall into mental rut.
Life in your comfort zone is predictable. Everything is the way it always is, and you like it that way. However, you can get into such a rut in that you begin to believe that where you are is where you are destined to be. Your days blur together, and you lose all desire to reach for your dreams and goals because you feel everything is fine the way it is. The reason why you feel that everything is fine is because you are comfortable. This can lead to feelings of being unfulfilled and inadequate. If you are not careful, these feelings could lead to depression or anxiety.
Opportunities are missed in comfort zone..
When you are comfortable in your comfort zone, you run the risk of missing those opportunities that can get you closer to your goals. I often shake my head at all of the times that I turned down an opportunity because it required me to do something outside of my comfort zone. Stepping outside of your comfort zone means doing those things that feel foreign to you. But these are the very things that could also mean the difference between living your dreams and living in your comfort zone.
Becoming watered down version of yourself.
Most of us have had big dreams and big goals that we have wanted to achieve. Whether it was starting a business or going back to school, we had some goal that we wanted to achieve. Life often happens and we end up in our comfort zone. If any effort is put into achieving our goals, it is temporary. The extra work and dedication needed to make these things happen become a bit much and you sometimes abandon them to return to what is comfortable. You become the watered-down version of yourself because you still have those dreams that you had before you got into your comfort zone. The dreams remain but you never really become that person because you are hesitant to come out of your comfort zone.
Frustration and regrets.
Sometimes we go through life and the years pass by before we realize that we are not really living our best lives. This leads to frustration and regrets. Frustration and regrets about what should have been or what could have been loom large. You become frustrated because you may be feeling stuck and then looking back at the different opportunities that you may have passed on causes the regret. Your comfort zone feels good but what does not feel good is the thought that so much more could have been accomplished had you made even the tiniest step outside of your comfort zone.
What are some of the things that you do to get out of your comfort zone? What do you think you have missed out on while you lived in your comfort zone?
Comment below and do not forget to follow the Serenity Room on our socials!
There are many benefits to positive thinking. Many people belief that if you start the day off with positive thinking then you have a greater chance of having a good day. Another school of thought suggests that positive thinking attracts good people and good things to come your way. I believe both things to be true. A positive mindset will put you in a much better position to not see every challenge or difficult situation as the end of the world. The great news is that a positive mindset also comes with some health benefits.
Better Heart Health and Positivity
There is scientific evidence that says that positivity can lead to a healthier heart. When we think negatively or have a negative outlook, stress hormones are released. This results in a higher heart rate and a rise in your blood pressure. Having a positive mindset leads to less stress hormones being released which limits the amount of stress being put on your cardiovascular system. A positive mindset can help ensure that your health is not under any additional or unnecessary stress that can lead to a heart attack, stroke, or heart disease.
Positive Thinking Can Increase Life Span
A positive mindset can add years to your life. It can sometimes keep you away from those things that unhealthy thoughts can lead you. Negative thinking can send you down a rabbit hole that can lead to self-destructive behaviors such as alcoholism, drug use, or unhealthy eating habits. All of these things can lead to a decrease in your life span. Those individuals who keep a positive mindset are more likely to do those things that make them feel good and are healthy. Exercising, healthy eating habits, and lower stress levels can add years to your life.
Positive Mindsets and Increased Pain Tolerance
Your positive thinking can even impact how much pain you can tolerate. For example, When you are in pain or when you are thinking about something that may be painful, the way you think about the pain can impact your experience. Thinking you are not going to be able to deal with your current or impending pain increases your stress levels which increases your pain levels. Thinking positive thoughts reduces your anxiety and helps you to focus on something other than pain. This lowers your stress levels which can lead to an increase in pain tolerance.
Positive Thinking And Better Coping Skills
Positive thinking enables you to see the most positive outcome in a situation. Negative thinking can lead you to make one bad decision that can lead to other bad decisions. This cycle of perpetual bad decision making can lead to bad outcomes such as hopelessness, high stress levels, and chronic anxiety. Positive mindsets lead to positive coping skills. These are the coping skills that relieve anxieties and not perpetuate it. Mediation, journaling, and seeking therapy or counseling are all healthy ways of coping with challenging situations. You are far more likely to choose positive coping skills when you have a positive mindset.
Comment below and tell me how you maintain a positive mindset? What are some other health benefits of a positive mindset that you would add to this list?