I have always believed that feelings of restlessness or discontent were signs that some sort of shift was about to occur. I have been feeling this a lot lately – in many areas of my life. From re-examining my personal goals to even my re-examining the direction of this blog, I have had a heightened level of anxiety whenever I considered the different levels of change that was needed for me to get to where I wanted to be. It was such an odd feeling. Wanting to do more but almost feeling stuck when it came to doing what needed to be done to see a significant change.
Change can be hard. For some, significant change can seem impossible. During this series on change we will be talking about different aspects of change and how we can overcome whatever may be preventing us from making significant change. People seek to make one of several types of changes to include changes to their financial situation, changes in their jobs, changes in their diet, changes in their lifestyle, the list goes on and on.
Let us look at why making changes can be so hard for some people.
Being afraid. Oftentimes people desire changes but are apprehensive about how that change will look. Some of us take such comfort in what is known – our routines, our habits, our jobs – that we will stay where we are instead of changing. Snuggling in and getting comfortable in your comfortable zone will make real change virtually impossible. The unknown of how life will be once the change comes or being unsure if the change can be maintained can make some of us unable to take that first step towards change.
No motivation – There are times when people may desire change but have no real desire to do what is necessary to make that change. Many things can contribute to the lack of motivation, but this lack of motivation can make it hard to move forward toward any type of meaningful change.
No clear goals. It is extremely hard to get motivated to make a change if you have no clear goals. You may feel as if you want or even need to make a change but if you do not have a clear vision of what you want that change to look like then you will always feel like nothing is changing. Attempting change with no set goals will result in you always trying to change but always being disappointed because you do not have clear enough goal to know when have achieved it.
Pride. There are times that you may need to make a change, but your pride keeps you from doing so. Not wanting to admit that change is needed can keep you from the change that you may so desperately need to change your life.
What other barriers would you add to this list?
In the next few blog posts we will be talking about different things people often need to change. As we discuss and you determine whether they apply to you, keep these barriers to change in mind and check to see whether you are guilty of any of these. And if you find that you are guilty of some of these, do not be so hard on yourself. Just make the necessary adjustments and try again to make that change.
Join me next time as we discuss changing your mindset.
These past few months have been a struggle for me as it relates to me focusing on both my personal goals and my goals relating to this blog. I just could not get myself together enough to move forward with any of my goals and it was incredibly frustrating. Everything felt forced and nothing was seeming to come together. I eventually just stopped and decided to step back and, when I did, everything became crystal clear. These are the things that I suggest that you do if you experience this feeling.
Remember why you started. You can have a clearly defined goal that takes many detours before you achieve it. When you are in the middle of one of these detours, it is easy to lose sight of the goal or give up. Remembering why you started is imperative in these moments.
Re-establish your goals. You may have to remind yourself of your goals or create new ones. Refocus on what the end game was when you decided to begin your journey toward whatever goal you were trying to reach.
Be honest with yourself. A lesson learned during one of your detours may help you to realize that you need to adjust your plan. And that is okay. Make the adjustments and move toward achieving your goal.
Remember to not be too hard on yourself as you go through this process. You may find that stepping back is exactly what needed to be done to move you toward your goals.
Growing up I was always told to watch the company I keep. It was a lesson in understanding that people will judge you based on the type of people you choose to hang around. If you hang around a bunch of troublemakers, people will think that you are a troublemaker even if you are not one. It is also possible that your behavior can begin to conform to the groups’ behavior. We can all probably think of examples where people may have acted outside of their normal character when they were around certain group of people. Well, this notion remains the same as we enter adulthood and begin to have hopes and dreams. The company we keep can either become our cheerleaders and let us know the sky is the limit or they can be the biggest naysayers, making us second guess our ability to successfully pursue any dream we may have had. It is easy to sit here and say that you should just ignore those people and continue pursuing your dreams. But the reality is that the company you keep plays a major role in your ability to achieve your goals – especially if these are people close to you who you often confide in. The company you keep should be positive, uplifting, resilient, supportive, and able to cheer you on when you begin to doubt yourself. Take inventory of the people that you surround yourself with. Do you feel that they speak positivity into your life or are they always telling you what you cannot do or what you cannot achieve? I challenge you today to look around and see who continually uplifts you and who always tries to limit you. Pay attention to those who pour positivity into you and pull those people closer. The company you keep has the power to pull you into doubt what you can achieve or catapult you into your wildest dreams. Choose wisely.
This is one of my favorite quotes. The reason why I love this quote so much is that it shows that there is always hope – there is always a better day on the horizon. This quote speaks to me on a couple of levels. One level is the thought that there is always something positive on the horizon. I am pretty sure that the caterpillar thought that his lot in life was to just always crawl around at this slow, slothful pace while everything was bustling all around him. But one day he turns into a butterfly! The sky is now the limit and he is free to go anywhere he please at whatever pace he chooses. The second level that this quote speaks to me concerns the notion of shedding the old you for a new you. We all have had our caterpillar moments. Feeling low, desiring to do more, watching the world bustle around us while we slowly move along trying to figure everything out. But then one day, you become a butterfly. Just as the butterfly is not a new creature but a different version of the caterpillar; you are not a new person, but a different version of yourself. This quote gives me great hope that, when things look dark or bleak or when life seems to be almost unbearable, there is always hope. What has you down today? Are you feeling that there is no hope? Just hold on, your day is coming.