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4 Ways to Become Unstuck in Life

Lady looking stuck and frustrated

Feeling stuck is one of the most frustrating feelings in the world. You want to do more, but you cannot seem to get yourself together to do more. And if you express this to other people, everybody just tells you to just do it. Just go for it. This advice sounds so simplistic, yet it feels like the hardest thing to do because you feel stuck. And you may not even understand why you feel this way, but you do. Today I will be discussing a few ways that we become stuck and how we can reverse those feelings.

Mindset

Sometimes our mindsets keep us in circumstances although we desire more for ourselves. Some of us have a mindset of resignation. This mindset follows the line of thinking that it is what it is, I have all I am going to have, and I must make do with this. With this mindset, it is very easy to get stuck because, although you may want more for yourself, you think that what you have now is all that you will ever have. When you have this mindset, the natural response is why want more if this is all I will ever have? This frame of thinking sometimes comes when we have yet to get over decisions made in past circumstances that may have put us at a disadvantage. We may feel like we don’t deserve any better and that we have made our bed so now we must lay in it.

No Real Goals

There are times where we may say we want something but we don’t outline a plan to actually get it. When this happens, we are just basically verbalizing the desire, but we do not actually give ourselves opportunity to reach the destination we have for ourselves. Having no real destination puts you in a position to where you are basically just going through life but staying in the same position. Almost like a hamster on his wheel. Time is moving on, but you are not growing into your potential.  Setting goals is vital to avoiding the feeling of being stuck.

Being Fearful

Fear paralyzes so many people. Some people have the fear of failure. For these individuals, the fear of what could go wrong and the consequences of what could happen is more powerful than the desire to try. This failure to even attempt keeps you stuck where you are in life. But then there is also the fear of success. There are some individuals who shy away from being successful because success often comes with more responsibilities and judgment. The additional responsibilities and the potential to be judged sometimes keeps some from even trying.

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is when you doubt your ability to be successful or feeling like you do not belong. Those who experience imposter syndrome often feel like a fraud, as if they don’t have the necessary qualifications to even be in the company of certain people. People who are experiencing imposter syndrome experience a certain level of success. The problem arises when they do not try to go further for fear of being exposed as a fraud. They feel as if they are lucky to have gotten as far as they have and don’t want to push their luck by attempting to go further. This can leads to a feeling of being stuck because while they may have experienced some success, they are scared to go further.

In order to reach your full potential, you have to be free to do those things that will get you to your ultimate goal. In other words, you must become unstuck. Here are a few ways that this can be done.

Focus on Your Thought Patterns

This is a very important step in becoming unstuck. A lot of what has us stuck is often what we think of ourselves or our circumstances. Take a few moments to really examine your thoughts. Are they positive thoughts or are they negative thoughts? If you have negative thoughts, do they lead to negative self-talk? If you are having negative thoughts and if they are leading to negative self talk, challenge these thoughts. Try to see where they are coming from. Is it just coming from yourself doubt or are they based in long-term traumas? Really evaluate your thoughts and why you have them. You may find that you will find that you can move forward once you begin to change the way you think.

Make Small Changes

Sometimes we feel stuck because we have fallen into a rut. We have gotten into a comfort zone and we have snuggled comfortably into it. Sometimes all you need is a small change in your daily routine or habits to shake things up enough to become unstuck. If you find that you have big goals but you don’t set small goals in between, maybe that is something you can try. Setting those small goals may feel weird to you at first but that small change in habit may be enough to make you feel unstuck.  Also, just trying something new that you may not have thought you might enjoy can sometimes make you unstuck. This could open you up to other things that might get you moving in the right direction.

Build Your Confidence

As stated earlier, there are a lot of things that can go into you feeling stuck in life. Becoming unstuck requires you to look at yourself in a totally different way. Instead of feeling like this is all is going to be, you must start thinking that you can indeed live your best life. This requires you to build your confidence. Building your confidence often requires you to do those things that you may have been scared to do previously or that may feel a little uncomfortable. But once you do these things and realize that you can be successful at these things, you will begin to do more things and you will begin to experience success. This will hopefully move you toward setting higher and higher goals that you will continue to reach.

Find Your Passion

Lastly, find your passion. Oftentimes we feel stuck because have not yet found that thing that we love. We may do a lot of things that we like but very little of the things that we love. Doing the things that we love is what gets you moving to your ultimate goal. Dreaming big and aspiring beyond just your day to day is what will eventually lead to you not feeling so stuck.

Determined looking lady

Have you ever had this stuck feeling? What did you do to become unstuck? Or if you are still feeling stuck, what is going to be your first step in moving toward your goals? Comment below and let us know!

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4 Paths to a Bold, Fearless Life

woman in white living fearlessly

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.

Les Brown

I absolutely love this quote because it faces you think: am I truly living my dreams or am I living my fears? That is a legit question.  Many people may say they are living their dreams. But when they think about every time, they second guessed themselves or not giving 100% of their effort into something, the answer may change.  A lot of people live at least a portion of their lives in fear.  Some of this fear may be legit but some of it may be fueled by things that can be controlled.  The following are a few ways you can begin living your dreams.

Find the Source of Your Fear

This may take a bit of time, but it is imperative that you find the true source of your fear.  Once you determine the source of your fears, you can begin to break whatever it is into small, manageable chunks so you can overcome it and truly begin to live your best life.  Some of the solutions to overcoming these fears may require the assistance of a counselor or therapist.  It will be worth to really take the time to really dig and find the source of your fear so that you can live your life freely.

Change Your Mindset

Sometimes we start out living our lives vicariously, but we end up living lives filled with fear due to our mindsets that may shift over time.  We sometimes start out with growth mindsets where everything is going well and all breaks are seeming to go our way.  When all is well it is quite easy to believe that you can learn more, work harder, and keep reaching for your goals.  However, if you have a fixed mindset and you have allowed fear to creep in, then fear will become a part of your thinking and it will be difficult to move forward.  To be successful, you must minimize any fear that you are experiencing and adopt a growth mindset.

stylish dreamy black woman with afro hairstyle on blue background

Practice Mindfulness

If fear has crept into your life and seems to occupy most of your thoughts, you can attempt to control it through various methods.  Meditation is one technique can be used to help you face your fear and make it less intimidating.  Deep breathing can also be helpful when you need to move forward but you begin to feel fear creep in. This deep breathing can help calm you until the fear subsides. Journaling can also be a technique to put your thoughts on paper and work through your fears through your entries.  You will be able to look back and see how you have overcome your fears in the past to motivate you to work toward overcoming them now.  Also, positive thinking and reframing of negative thoughts into positive ones can help your fears not to appear to be so big that you cannot overcome them.   

Do Not Give Fear Energy

Feeling fear is sometimes just a part of living.  When you are trying something new or in an unfamiliar situation, fear is likely to arise.  The main thing is to not lean into the fear.  This can be challenging but the most beneficial thing to do is to let the fear come, acknowledge it, and then let it pass.  It can sometimes be challenging, and this may take a lot of practice.  Denying fear, the opportunity to completely consume you will take time and practice.

woman living fearlessly on beach

Do you feel as if you live life fearlessly? What advice would you give those who strive to live fearlessly?

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4 Health Benefits of Positive Thinking

positive woman smiling

There are many benefits to positive thinking.  Many people belief that if you start the day off with positive thinking then you have a greater chance of having a good day.  Another school of thought suggests that positive thinking attracts good people and good things to come your way.  I believe both things to be true.  A positive mindset will put you in a much better position to not see every challenge or difficult situation as the end of the world.  The great news is that a positive mindset also comes with some health benefits.

Better Heart Health and Positivity

There is scientific evidence that says that positivity can lead to a healthier heart.  When we think negatively or have a negative outlook, stress hormones are released.  This results in a higher heart rate and a rise in your blood pressure.  Having a positive mindset leads to less stress hormones being released which limits the amount of stress being put on your cardiovascular system.  A positive mindset can help ensure that your health is not under any additional or unnecessary stress that can lead to a heart attack, stroke, or heart disease.

Positive Thinking Can Increase Life Span

A positive mindset can add years to your life.  It can sometimes keep you away from those things that unhealthy thoughts can lead you.  Negative thinking can send you down a rabbit hole that can lead to self-destructive behaviors such as alcoholism, drug use, or unhealthy eating habits.  All of these things can lead to a decrease in your life span.  Those individuals who keep a positive mindset are more likely to do those things that make them feel good and are healthy.  Exercising, healthy eating habits, and lower stress levels can add years to your life.

Positive Mindsets and Increased Pain Tolerance

Your positive thinking can even impact how much pain you can tolerate.   For example, When you are in pain or when you are thinking about something that may be painful, the way you think about the pain can impact your experience.  Thinking you are not going to be able to deal with your current or impending pain increases your stress levels which increases your pain levels.  Thinking positive thoughts reduces your anxiety and helps you to focus on something other than pain. This lowers your stress levels which can lead to an increase in pain tolerance.

Positive Thinking And Better Coping Skills

Positive thinking enables you to see the most positive outcome in a situation.  Negative thinking can lead you to make one bad decision that can lead to other bad decisions.  This cycle of perpetual bad decision making can lead to bad outcomes such as hopelessness, high stress levels, and chronic anxiety.  Positive mindsets lead to positive coping skills. These are the coping skills that relieve anxieties and not perpetuate it.  Mediation, journaling, and seeking therapy or counseling are all healthy ways of coping with challenging situations.  You are far more likely to choose positive coping skills when you have a positive mindset.

positive lady smiling

Comment below and tell me how you maintain a positive mindset?  What are some other health benefits of a positive mindset that you would add to this list?

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The 3 Types of Mindsets that Can Hinder Change

Your mindset can be one of the hardest things to change.  This is mainly due to the way that we arrive at our mindsets.  Mindsets are often formed because of our upbringing, culture, life experiences, and beliefs.  Mindsets tend to be deep seated and can often be a challenge to change.

I wanted to take a moment to discuss mindsets because you must be aware of the mindsets that you hold when considering how you respond (or not) to change.   Let us explore a few mindsets.

Optimistic vs. Pessimistic.  The optimist sees life through rose colored glasses.  Everything is good, and if something bad happens, the belief is that things will get better.  The pessimist believes that everything is always dark and bleak and if, by chance, something good does happen, they will believe that is a fluke.  When the subject of making any type of change comes up, it will take more effort for person with a pessimistic mindset because the first battle will be the negative outlook on the change.  You would have to get past this negative outlook before you could begin to take the steps to make the change.

Immediate success vs. Process.  This is one that I am currently working on.  The conflicting mindsets of a persons who wants overnight success versus the person that feels that everything is a process and success is attained one step at a time.  The good thing is that no matter what the desired change is, a person with each of these mindsets will try. The person with the mindset that everything is a process will be more likely to succeed as they will understand that setbacks and bad days are a part of the process of change.  The person who believes in overnight success will be more likely to quit at the first setback or if the change comes too slowly.

Hard work vs. Lucky break.  There are those who believe that success comes from hard work. These individuals understand that change is a process but that it also involved hard work.  Anything worth having normally involves some kind of hard work.  The person who feels like success only comes by the luck of the draw will not truly try to make a change.  If a half-hearted attempt at change is made and they fail, they will assume that the change was not meant for them.  I see this a lot when people speak of professional goals.  Some people believe in working hard to get the recognition needed to obtain a promotion.  Others believe that it is all about who you know, and skills and knowledge does not really matter.

Let us consider these mindsets in the context of change.  Can you really be successful with a diet if you believe all success should be immediate and that you will not have setbacks?  Can you realistically begin to work towards a dream or a goal if you believe that successful people are only successful because of who they know and not because of hard work?  Here are a few ways that you can change your mindset to see the change that you are working so hard for.

 

  1. Clarify what you want to change.  It is important that you know the why behind your need to change your mindset.  If you can identify the reason behind the change in mindset, the change is more likely to last.
  2. Make the decision to change.  This sounds like a lot like the first point but there is a slight difference.  The first point is speaking to knowing why you should change – this point is you deciding to change.  Many of us can know the benefits of a change and still not decide to make the change.  So, a definitive decision to make a change is necessary.
  3. Challenge your thoughts.  Any type of change can be hard and changing a mindset is no different.  When old thoughts that are connected to old habits begin to push their way in, it is imperative that you make a conscious effort to push back against those thoughts and focus on your new positive thoughts.
  4. Give yourself a break. Mindsets were not formed overnight, and they will be not be changed overnight.  Give yourself room to have a set back if you go slip to your old mindset and ways.  Just be conscious of this, reset, and move forward.
  5. Change actions.  Operate in the actions of your new mindset even if you are still working to completely change your mindset.  If you have determined that the change is your mindset is needed, begin to act as if your mindset is already changed.  It may feel unnatural at first, but you will eventually begin to walk in your new mindset and habits will begin to change.

What mindset pattern or patterns do you fall into? What do you think can help you come out of it?

Join me next time where I will be discussing lifestyle changes.

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